Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Our first holiday with our adopted sons took an unexpected turn

In the second of our holiday blogs, Paul describes his experience of taking away his adopted sons for the first time, but it wasn't quite what his oldest son was expecting.

Our 2 boys moved in with us in October 2006 and were aged 3 and 5 at the time. During training we’d realised that stability was important, and not to introduce change, new environments or people too quickly, but by February half term the following year, we thought they’d be ready for a long weekend at Center Parcs.

We spent time explaining to them where we were going, and all the great activities they could do there, and they were both very excited by it.

Unfortunately we had a heavy drop of snow the night before we went, so we didn’t leave as early as we had hoped, and we were a little worried about travelling in such bad weather, perhaps something the children picked up on, but by 3pm on Friday we set out. All was going well, and the conditions were improving, but just 5 miles from the motorway the traffic stopped! It was getting dark, and we were all bored, and there we sat for 3 hours waiting for an accident to be cleared. We eventually made it to Center Parcs around 10pm that night, so it was a fun bath for the boys in the whirlpool bubble-generating bath and a late night before going to bed!

The next day started well with fun in the pool, but as the day went on our oldest became slightly distracted, although we put that down to being tired. It wasn’t until that evening, back at the chalet, that he picked up one of our mobile phones, that displayed a picture of them sitting at home and he said “that was at our old house”. The penny dropped, they thought we had moved house. Before arriving with us, they had moved around a variety of flats and B&B’s and sometimes had to leave quickly for a variety of reasons. Our stressful journey to Center Parcs in the appalling weather, and then the new “happy” environment perhaps reminded him of some of these moves.

It made us realise that, although they had settled in very well with us, there remained a sense of insecurity and that we still had a long way to go before they would feel totally at ease.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This happened to us the first time we took our adopted son to visit his new Grandma, and again when we went on our first family holiday. He'd had ten moves in 2 years before coming to us, and had just got used to being moved around. We just assumed that because he was with us, he'd be OK. Two and half years on holidays and visits to family who live away are fine. However, we moved house 10 months ago, and this proved to be yet another broken attachment for him to deal with. He's settled and very happy, but that nagging anxiety is still there: perhaps it always will be...

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