Thursday, 23 September 2010

Family connections through the eyes of an adopted child

The family connections of adopted children can be very complicated and confusing. An adoptive father shares with us how his son explained his own family tree with a drawing.

My 9 year old son was asking me the difference between step-brothers and sisters, and half-brothers and sisters, so this gave us an opportunity to sit and talk about how children are created and how he relates to his (half) brother who we have also adopted.

He then sat down and drew this picture (below). At first I couldn’t work out what he’d drawn, but then he explained; along the top row were his birth mother, birth father, and the other 2 men his mother had had children with. Along the middle line were all his siblings. Finally along the bottom, was me and my partner, and the other adoptive parents than make up his siblings families.

Despite all the training, it wasn’t until I looked at this diagram, that it really brought home the complexity of my boy’s life.


For more information on how to talk to your children about adoption visit the BAAF Bookshop.

2 comments:

Catmandoes said...

That's given me some thoughts on how I can explain this to my 8 year old adopted daughter. I'm still dreading it though

birthmothertalks said...

That is very interesting way to look at it. Children need more credit than we give them.

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