Monday, 16 July 2012

Adoption blog: a tale of two siblings

(c) Sunshines.Silhouette
Today on the blog, we hear from a young woman who was adopted aged 4. Here she gives a frank account of her adoption experience, including her close relationship with her birth brother.

I was adopted when I was four and my brother was seven. We were taken into care because our birth parents could not look after us properly due to their drug abuse. At first we stayed with our auntie and uncle, but they all ready had seven children of their own. So we were placed with a foster family.

We knew that we were getting adopted. We were told by our social worker through play therapy that we would have a new forever mummy and daddy. It was explained that our birth mummy and daddy couldn't look after us as they had grown up problems, but as I got older I was told what this implied. My brother and I both had life story books which explained everything from birth to being adopted. As I look at it now I realise how much my life story book helped me. We also had a welcome book that was all about our adoptive family. It had photos and written pieces about the whole family, even the pets, which really helped, I liked reading about our new family.

Being adopted was very emotional. I was scared, excited and nervous. At first I didn't like any one having my adopted mummy's time and attention and my brother was sometimes an angry little boy. But my mummy and daddy were very patient and open with us. My brother did art therapy which really helped and we settled in. I had always wanted a mummy, but was not very fussed about having a daddy which my adopted dad understood. Then one day we were at the park and I was scared about a motor bike coming across the field and I screamed and ran to 'my daddy'.

My brother amazes me. He was the one who fed me when I was a baby when my birth parents were out of it. He looked after me like I was his child even though he was just a toddler himself. It amazes me that he had the knowledge and took care of me and I still think that's amazing today.

Three years later we found out we had a baby sister who was adopted into another family. Me and my brother decided to meet her. She was adorable. I loved being a big sister even though I was still young. We all got along and decided between the families to have regular contact and we still do today and it's great. Like any other little sister, she can be annoying, but I love her to pieces.

We had letter box contact with our birth parents which carried on till I was 15. A letter come from them saying how much they loved me and missed me. I will admit it stressed me out and really upset me. So I told my mum 'no more contact' - it made me too sad. I was a teenage girl with teenage girl problems and that was making it worse, so the contact stopped.

I want to help other adopted kids by sharing my story or listening to theirs as being an adopted child I know what they are going through. There are a lot of different emotions in the situation from upset and angry to being excited, happy and settled, but I was never ashamed to be adopted. I'm not saying adopting a child is easy, but having a child naturally isn't either.

If you need more info or advice about adoption, please visit the main BAAF website. For more personal tales about adoption, head to the blog homepage.

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